(Installment 3 "Do you respect your spouse? ")
Marriage Talk with Pastor Vincent J. McCaskill

Ephesians 5:22-31 New International Version (NIV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

In the last BGI Marriage Talk installment we focused on the importance of husband and wife having mutual respect for one another. Verse 21 of Ephesians 5 pretty much established the foundation for what will keep the marriage strong. " 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." It is important to understand that if we are to have reverence for Christ we must do what he says. This is called obedience and it is the first test in a marriage of whether both individuals understand the value of mutual respect. The husband and wife are equal partners in this Kingdom enterprise. With that being established, then Ephesians 5:22-28 provides the structure of this Kingdom enterprise. A spouse who does not view the other half of him or her as an equal partner will misinterpret the instructions that follow Ephesians 5:21. It will be hard to swallow for this person.

You have become one flesh. You have been joined together. For this enterprise to operate smoothly, the two must be in sync with one another. Without God at the center there really won't be lasting cohesiveness. The lasting part has more to do with spiritual control over the human inclination to be more self focused… instead of selfless focused. The human side of us will want to give up because it is not going our way. The husband and wife’s souls are tied together. What God has joined together is out of reach for man. Therefore, no human being can tear apart (soul connectivity) what God (in the spirit realm) has mixed, joined, infused together.

So many have gone before God for him to endorse the marriage. What they missed is that he literally connected your souls to one another. So when it get’s hard, instead of going back to God for a remedy many choose to run to a judge to get them out of it. But even when the judge says it is done… it is not because the couple did not go to God for him to do the soul “un-tieing.” This is why many who have gone through a divorce says “it feels like death.” Why? Because a part of the other person still has a major part of you with them and vice versa. No paper can fix that. Only God. The reality for many is they got out without approval from God. They wanted it their way… not God’s way.

This is why it is so important to know what you are getting into before you get into it. It is so important to seek pre-marital counseling from your pastor. You can not Pastor yourself. Get an understanding before moving forward into marriage. And if you did not do that on the front end… seek marriage counseling now from a Christian counselor so you can get an understanding of where you both are now. Bring to the light (out in the open) what you are so confidently leaning on behind the scenes to push you toward a divorce. If you do not want to go to counseling then one must question what is leading your soul to go down that road. If God is in your decision, then there will be no problem bringing to the light what is now your motivation for getting out. The light will drive away darkness which has clouded the mind… or the light will confirm the spirit which is leading the mind down that path. If God is leading… there will be a peace about the direction you are going that surpasses all understanding. Where there is peace, that’s his presence and his approval. If you have no peace… then his hand is not on it.